Adventure Time Season Six, Episode Thirty - "The Diary" Executive Producer: Fred Seibert Written and storyboarded by: Jillian Tamaki Story by: Kent Osborne, Pendleton Ward, Jack Pendarvis, Adam Muto Supervising director: Cole Sanchez Art director: Nick Jennings Co-Executive Producer: Adam Muto Transcribed by: Carrehz (carrie_clawz@yahoo.co.uk) If you're going to take this and put it on your site, please ask first. If you don't wanna ask, at least give credit. C: ** As with all of my transcripts, this is not intended to be a replacement for watching the episode itself, it's more for quoting purposes, easily checking lines without having to search through the episode for them, etc. ** Notes: - I was unsure of how to write T.V.'s name (the storyboard and credits spell it "TV", but "Jake the Dad" and "Ocarina" spell it "T.V."), but I eventually decided to write it with the full stops. Just as a note.. - The spelling I'm using for Taffi's name comes from the storyboard. - I don't understand Korean, so Lady Rainicorn's translated dialogue is also taken from the storyboard. Apologies if any of it is incorrect. - T.V. speaks pretty quietly, almost in a monotone; I tried to transcribe his dialogue to reflect that. - The musicbox seller's name is unstated in the episode itself, but according to the storyboard, his name is Tom. :B ------------ (The episode starts with T.V. playing a "Dragon Warrior"-esque computer game, typing away rapidly. Lady Rainicorn sits in the loft, watching him, while Jake reads the newspaper behind her.) [Lady Rainicorn] (sighs) [Jake] Ah, don't worry about him. It's good to be passionate about your hobbies. [LR] [J] (looking over newspaper) Yo, T.V.! Get me a chocolate bar! [TV] Okay. (T.V. gets up and walks away, throwing his headset down. Jake watches him, then goes back to reading his paper.) [J] Atta boy. (T.V. wanders out of the house and into a forest, quiet and still. It's a nice summer day, lots of birds around.) [TV] (sigh) [Old Pizza Man] Eh, hello, young man! (T.V. teleports away while the old man's still talking..) (confused) Oh. (..and ends up in the Candy Kingdom.) [TV] (to himself) Psych. (He continues walking, until he reaches the bridge nearby, walking down the grass verge and stopping underneath the bridge itself.) Delicious chocolate bridge. (T.V. jumps up and grabs at a loose chocolate 'brick', pulling at it until it comes off in his hands; he falls back with the impact, landing in a chocolate puddle underneath the bridge.) Yuck. (notices something) Huh? (In front of him, protected from the chocolate puddle by the zip-lock baggie containing it, is a diary with a flower on the cover.) (T.V. kneels on the grass outside the Candy Kingdom castle, carefully pulling the diary out of the bag and opening it.) [TV] (reading) "This diary belongs to B.P. Private property." (flips page) "If you're still reading this, you're a bad person." (looks up) Uh... Statute of Limitations. (He flips the next page, and the diary author's voice begins to narrate. Note that all of BP's dialogue is voice-over unless otherwise specified. During this part, T.V. wanders around the countryside, deeply engrossed in the diary.) [BP] "Dear diary. Wow, I sound like a real cornball. Oh well! Dear diary. Mom is going to love you. She's always ragging about me spending too much time with my nose in books. I wonder what I'm going to write in you. What kind of person will I be when I get to your last page? Will I have my braces off? Will I have written a song that doesn't totally suck? Will I have met a cool guy?" (Her dialogue starts overlapping.) "I can barely look at dudes without breaking into hives." "Just another day in teenage Purgatory, aka, the school caf'. Sloppy joes /again/." "Boys I did NOT talk to today: Brownie Guy, Ruffles, Bryan, Penny Candy Guy.. "Are they trying to kill us?" "Stayed in and tried to cut my bangs. Mom says it looks like I got in a fight with a snapping turtle." "Taffi and Mochi are the coolest girls at school. When I think about them, my skin feels sparkly. They don't even know I exist. Why would they? I'm a nobody. Less than nobody. I'm a pimple on the butt of a-" [TV] (interrupts BP's voiceover) Geez, BP, prone to dramatics much? (He flips another page, continuing to read as he walks home. It's night by this point.) [BP] "The Fire Kingdom has officially frozen over. Justin Rockcandy asked me to the semi-formal!" [TV] (quietly, to himself) Oh my glob. (As T.V. walks back to his house, doodles from BP's diary begin appearing all over the screen. BP's dialogue begins to overlap again.) [BP] (dreamily) "Justin... Justin... Justin..." "Justin is taking me to the Fructose Fair!" "Justin.." "Justin wants to go on the rollercoaster." "Kissing is fun and easy. If I don't think about the bacteria in spit. Teeming. Multiplying." (T.V. sits at his desk in his bedroom, still reading. BP's dialogue starts to get more and more frantic...) "Diary, can you keep a secret? Justin-" "JUSTIN-!" "Don't look at me-" "Hive of bees in my head, get OUT..!" "Mother, I'm not going to tell you again." "Lies, lies, LIES!" (..and then calms down slightly for the next line:) "Diary, it's my birthday tomorrow. But I don't feel like celebrating. I feel like screaming. Justin wants to meet at Lovetree Point. Says he wants to give me a present." (frantically) "I should tell him. I NEED to tell him! I /WILL/ tell him!" (T.V. flips the page, only to find.. nothing. One page is heavily scribbled over, leaving only a few words legible, and the rest of the pages have been completely torn out of the book. It's now dawn; he's stayed up all night reading.) [TV] (gasps) Tell him what?! Aaaaugh! (The next morning; Lady is making breakfast, while Jake is sitting at the table.) [LR] (T.V. walks in, not looking at either of his parents, just staring straight ahead. He grabs an apple as he walks out of the house.) [TV] Not hungs, heading out for a bit. [LR] (to Jake) (the storyboard says her line here is "Well!" but the way she says this line, plus her expression, don't seem to match.. if anyone can confirm her line here, please let me know. -ed note) [J] There you go! Just needed a little push from the old man. (coughs) (Back at the Chocolate Bridge...) [TV] I gotta get into the mind of this kid. (He stops halfway down the verge, opening the diary.) Roleplay. (T.V. mimes ripping pages out of the book..) Rip! Rrrip! (..and pretends to throw it under the bridge.) ("girly" voice) Sploosh! My secret is safe at the bottom of this disgusting moat! (He turns around, now pretending to be Justin.) (deeper, boyish voice) Oh, oh, BP, what have you done? (T.V. continues to talk to himself, switching back and forth between roles; a Candy kid walks down the bridge and stops to watch him briefly, before being hurried away by her mother.) (girl voice) I'm sick of the lies, sick, sick, sick! ("Justin" voice) Babe, um, I said I'm sorry? (girl voice) You don't know me! Nobody knows me, leave me alone! (Suddenly, the flower on the diary flies off the book and into the air. T.V. gasps, then looks down at the diary, which has suddenly turned into.. a sloppy joe. Yeah.) (slightly confused) I hate sloppy joes! (The surroundings melt away; T.V. is now on a rollercoaster covered in BP's doodles, the background a starry sky. The rollercoaster runs out of track and falls down; T.V. flies upwards and then begins to fall, screaming all the while, until he lands in a river. He quickly surfaces, gasping for breath.) Yuck. (A figure starts to rise out of the water in front of T.V...) (confused) Wha..? (looks at her) Taffi? (..followed by a second girl.) Mochi! [Taffi] Hey, Moch'! Is that the new Nosy Nellies bootleg seven-inch? (Taffi reaches out for the record; Mochi holds it away. As Mochi talks, T.V. calls out to the girls, too quietly for them to hear.) [TV] Taffi! Mochi! Down here! [Mochi] I ordered it from this dude in Lumpy Space. [T] Is it insane? [M] It's almost /too/ insane. [T] Wicked. (T.V. coughs and goes under the water again, unable to swim. Just then, a third figure, rises out of the water, directly under T.V., who is now flopped on top of the newcomer's hat. This third person is another Candy person - a boy.) [Justin Rockcandy] Hiya, BP~ What's up? [TV] Justin? [JR] Guilty as charged. (He picks T.V. up, talking to him as if he were BP.) You psyched for your birthday, birthday girl? Don't forget our little rendezvous at Lovetree Point, huh? I can't wait for you to see your pressie. So you're gonna be there, right? (suddenly frantic and needy) Please say yes. Please, please, please- (T.V. slowly starts screaming as Justin continues to beg.) Please?! PLEASE! (The screen turns black; when it fades back in, it is to reveal Jake, playing cards with Lady at her house. He slams a hand of cards down on the table.) [J] Bam! (puts down more cards) Bam! (tosses down rest of his cards) Bam. Lady, you're really off your game. I never win at Canasta! [LR] [J] Well, you said you wanted the kid to spend more time outside. Bam, he's outside, he's loving it! [LR] (still concerned) [J] If it'll make you feel better, then yes, but I'm sure he's fine. (cut to the next scene; Jake standing at the bottom of the verge by the Chocolate Bridge, looking worried.) [J] Uh-oh. (T.V. is lying on the ground in the dirt, passed out and mumbling vaguely in his sleep as he tosses and turns. The diary is lying next to him.) Uh.. son? (T.V. continues mumbling vaguely, then opens his eyes and stares vaguely at Jake.) [TV] (sleepily/out of it) Mom? [J] Eh, close enough. [TV] (angry) Get out of my room! (He grabs the diary and holds it close, turning away from Jake.) [J] (suspiciously) T.V., what is that? (T.V. stands up, glaring at Jake and hiding the diary from him.) [TV] Private property. [J] (insistent) Gimme the book. (He grabs hold of the book; T.V. resists and tries to keep holding onto it.) [TV] (whining/struggling) Nooo.... (Jake successfully pries the book out of his hands and opens it, flicking through it.) [J] A diary, huh? Juicy. Now you've become dangerously obsessed with it and have confused your reality with that of the diary-keeper. (T.V. walks up to Jake and stands next to him, no longer annoyed.) You always were a little too susceptible of fantasy. (He continues flipping, until he reaches..) Ooh, ripped pages! Mystery! (T.V. points to the page prior to the ripped part, the one covered in scribbles save for a few, oddly written words.) [TV] And look how the handwriting changes right before the rip. The 'E's are all crabbed. That's weird, right? [J] That's super weird, son. She was obviously emotionally distraught... (T.V. walks away from his father; his surroundings begin to distort and melt away again, as he begins hallucinating/daydreaming/whatever again. During this next part, T.V. is shown jumping onto a stretcher and being rushed into hospital - again, replacing BP with himself.) Maybe she was so stressed, she broke out in hives, and they covered her whole body! So they rushed her to the hospital. She was thinking - (girly voice) "oh man, I'm so young!" (normal voice) - and how life was so unfair, and.. and that THIS was the end. (Screen fades to black briefly, then fades back in. Beeping, hospital-type sounds can be heard in the background.) (whispers) ..but it wasn't the end. She had pulled through. (louder) Except her hand had been replaced.. (dramatically) WITH A CRAB HAND! (dramatic sting!) ..which negatively affected her handwriting. [TV] (voice-over) Yeah, and- and while I recovered, I refused all visitors. [J] (confused) Wait.. /you/ refused-? [TV] (interrupting/oblivious to Jake) Especially Justin. How could he love a girl with a crab hand? I mean, that is definitely not normal. Justin sent me flowers every day for a week. Then every other day. Then they stopped coming all together. (Cut to a nice, summer-y evening; fantasy!T.V. walks down the path, wearing a pretty, frilly dress, a garbage bag duct-taped to his crab hand. And uh.. yeah, I'm mostly mentioning this because I think it's cute/funny. :P T.V. continues to narrate.) On my birthday, I decided I was going to keep my promise to meet Justin. Crab hand, or no crab hand. But when I got to Lovetree Point, Justin was already there. (Fantasy!T.V. gasps when he catches sight of Justin..) Making out with my BFFs Taffi and Mochi! (Cut back to the real world; Jake is amusedly watching T.V., who is completely oblivious to everything around him, staring vaguely into the distance, teary-eyed.) [J] He did not! (flips book open again) Well, that's one theory, anyway. [TV] (oblivious) Am I unloveable? [J] Hey, did you say Lovetree Point? That's where the kids used to go smooching back in the day. This diary must be pretty old. (T.V. sniffles and wipes his eyes/nose with the back of his wrist.) We should go check it out. (The two wander around a deserted cliff-point, garbage scattered everywhere.) [J] Ugh, this place is a dump. [TV] Why do they call this "Lovetree Point"? [J] (pointing over his shoulder) Cause of that tree over there. (T.V. looks to where Jake is pointing; there's a tree nearby, the trunk warped into the shape of a heart. They reach the edge of the cliff and stop walking, both looking at the tree now.) Yeah, it's pretty heavy handed. [TV] On page 42 it says Justin hid a present somewhere 'round here. Maybe it's in the tree? [J] Hey, good thinkin'! (Jake stretches up to the tree; sure enough, hidden inside a hole in the tree is a music box, surrounded by acorns. The words "BP + JR 4EVA" are engraved on the top of the box.) (quietly) Bingo. (He stretches back down, tail wagging slightly, and holds the music box out to T.V., who quickly reaches out and flips the latch. Inside the box are two little wooden cat figures, who start 'dancing' together as music plays.) [TV] (gasps) (T.V. leans down to have a closer look at the music box.) (in awe) It's so beautiful. [J] Yeah. BP would've loved this. (T.V. closes the lid of the box and walks away, teary-eyed again. Jake holds the box close to him, starting to get teary-eyed himself.) Justin must've been too devastated to reclaim it. Maybe he thinks she'll come back for it one day! [TV] (sniffle) We've gotta find her, Dad! (starts sobbing) [J] She never knew how much she meant to him. (starting to tear up) To all of us! (Jake starts sobbing as well; we pan out to reveal Lady watching them from a distance. She flies away as the scene changes.) [LR] (exasperated) (The next day, T.V. and Jake wander around the marketplace from "Blade of Grass", still carrying the music box and diary.) [J] Y'know, son, I bet I know where this music box is from. Maybe they can give us a clue. (The two walk up to a nearby stall, run by an aging grass person: Tom. They hand the music box to him.) [Tom] Oh, yes. Yes, this is one of mine. From my, 'dancing cat' period. (He opens the music box; music starts playing again.) [TV] Do you remember who bought it? [Tom] Oh, goodness. Feels like a lifetime ago. I must've made hundreds of boxes since then. Each marrying sound and motion to tell a unique story. The dance of the cosmos in miniature. (T.V. looks up, quietly impressed by Tom's description. Jake glances at him briefly, before looking back at Tom.) [J] Okay..! Well, we gotta go. (He reaches out for the box.) [Tom] A young man bought this! [TV] Justin! (to Tom; hopefully) Was he handsome? [Tom] Oh, very. [J] Who was it meant for? [Tom] A girl. Betsy! [TV] (gasps) BP! [Tom] She ran away. Went wild, cut herself off from the world! Hid away in a cave.. (He shuts the music box; it stops playing.) ..never to be seen again. [J] Woah. [TV] (to Jake) But Dad, there are probably hundreds of caves in- [Tom] (interrupting) It's the one at the fork in the road to Butterscotch Lake! (T.V. and Jake rush off; Jake's arms reach back in and take the box from Tom, who looks after them.) The box said she does weird stuff to bodies up there. (Jake rushes down the road, morphed into a greyhound-like form; T.V. is riding on his back. They approach a cave.) [TV] That's it! (They continue into the dark cave, T.V. using his horn to light the way. They look around as Jake continues to walk.) [J] (panting for breath) [TV] Why do you think Betsy ran away, Dad? [J] (out of breath) Hard to say. Some people can't face their troubles. But T.V., hiding away won't solve anything- [TV] (interrupts) Look! (T.V. jumps off Jake's back and rushes off.) [J] (out of breath) Ah... teachable moment.. (In the corner of the cave, surrounded by a pretty, magical-looking waterfall, is a little, somewhat run-down, cabin. T.V. rushes up to it and opens the door, looking around. It's dark inside; his horn is still lit up.) [TV] Betsy? (He walks around the cabin, looking around; it's completely deserted. There seems to be an odd amount of medical equipment around.. anatomy figures, scientific books and such.) Betsy..? (T.V. looks down, then screams. A skeleton is on the ground! Jake walks up behind T.V. as he stares at the skeleton, horrified.) (quietly) Betsy! Oh my glob.. (starting to tear up) We were too late... (upset, slightly hysterical) She was too good for this cruel world! (sobs) [J] It's a model. [TV] Huh? [J] It's plastic! (holds skeleton model's hand and waves it at T.V.) Heeey~ (T.V. walks over to a set of shelves nearby, and brushes the dust off a set of books, to reveal the titles "Surgery" and "Gross Anatomy". T.V. looks at them in wonder. Meanwhile, Jake's standing in the opposite corner, suddenly noticing something on BP's bed.) Hey, look at this! A letter. (Jake picks up the letter - addressed to Justin - as T.V. walks up to him.) Maybe we shouldn't read this. [TV] Yes, we should. (BP starts narrating for the last time. Once again, we cut to a fantasy sequence, however, unlike before, T.V. does not take BP's place; we get to see her for the first time. She's a Candy person, and looks somewhat familiar.. As she narrates, she walks down a path, finally settling against a tree to write in her diary again.. one last time.) [BP] "Dear Justin. I'm not sure you'll ever read this letter. Maybe I'm writing this more for myself anyway. You know when you're little and the future feels really far away? You don't know what it looks like. You just hope you'll have stuff figured out by then. You'll know exactly how to act, and feel. You'll have conquered all your fears. And you'll never feel dumb or uncomfortable. You don't think about how you'll actually get there. The middle parts, between now and then - the middle parts /suck/. Which is why I split, I guess. Okay, so riding out your teen years in a cave is pretty dramatic, but, do you know how much reading you get done in a cave? I even figured out a cure for my crab hand!" (BP puts her diary, now safely inside the zip-lock baggie, into the puddle underneath the Chocolate Bridge. It doesn't sink, however, merely floating, half-buried in the puddle.) "Oh, Justin. I hope you're not too upset. And I hope you didn't spend too much money on that birthday present. It wouldn't have worked out between us anyway. You're kind've clingy. Sincerely, Nurse Betsy Poundcake." (Cut immediately to the Candy Kingdom hospital. Nurse Poundcake and Doctor Ice Cream are tending to a patient - Jawbreaker Guy - lying on a hospital bed in an operating theatre. Jake and T.V. are watching them through the window.) [Doctor Ice Cream] Nurse Poundcake! [Nurse Poundcake] I've got the injection, Doctor. [Jawbreaker Guy] (panicky) I'm not gonna make it, man! (Nurse Poundcake slaps him.) [NP] (firmly) You will live! [DIC] Way to take control of the situation, Nurse. [NP] Save it for the post-op, Doc. [J] Wow. BP is Nurse Poundcake. And she turned out fine! [TV] But what about the ripped pages? (Jake and T.V. begin to walk off down the hospital corridor together, towards the exit.) [J] Oh, I saw them in the cabin. It was just a lot of mean stuff about Justin. (slight laugh; cheerfully) He-hey, that guy must be pretty sad, huh? (nudges T.V.) Hey, you wanna go find him? [TV] No. ~ THE END! ~