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"Cats" and all related things are the property of Andrew Lloyd Webber, The Really Useful Group, and related parties. Lyrics are taken from and based off "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" and other poems by T.S. Eliot, with additions by Trevor Nunn and Richard Stilgoe. No copyright infringement is intended.
The Naming of Cats
Sung by: The Company
Original London Cast
Original Broadway Cast
Original Australian Cast
Video
The naming of cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games:
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have three different names

First of all, there's the name that the family use daily.
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey -
But all of them sensible everyday names.

There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter -
But all of them sensible everyday names.

But I tell you a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum -
Names that never belong to more than one cat

But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess
The name that no human research can discover -
But the cat himself knows, and will never confess.

When you notice a cat in profound meditation
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable, effable,
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular name.
(name, name, name, name, name, name)
The naming of cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games:
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have three different names

First of all, there's the name that the family use daily.
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey -
All of them sensible everyday names.

There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter -
But all of them sensible everyday names.

But I tell you a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum -
Names that never belong to more than one cat

But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess
The name that no human research can discover -
But the cat himself knows, and will never confess.

When you notice a cat in profound meditation
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable, effable,
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular name.
(name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name)
The naming of cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games:
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have three different names

First of all, there's the name that the family use daily.
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey -
All of them sensible everyday names.

There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter -
But all of them sensible everyday names.

But I tell you a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum -
Names that never belong to more than one cat

But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess
The name that no human research can discover -
But the cat himself knows, and will never confess.

When you notice a cat in profound meditation
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable, effable,
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular name.
(name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name)
The naming of cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games:
You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have three different names

First of all, there's the name that the family use daily.
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey -
All of them sensible everyday names.

There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter -
But all of them sensible everyday names.

But I tell you a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?

Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum -
Names that never belong to more than one cat

But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess
The name that no human research can discover -
But the cat himself knows, and will never confess.

When you notice a cat in profound meditation
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable, effable,
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular name.
(name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name, name)
Notes

Nothing of note.