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"Cats" and all related things are the property of Andrew Lloyd Webber, The Really Useful Group, and related parties. Lyrics are taken from and based off "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" and other poems by T.S. Eliot, with additions by Trevor Nunn and Richard Stilgoe. No copyright infringement is intended.
The Ad-Dressing of Cats
Sung by: Old Deuteronomy and The Company
Original London Cast
Original Broadway Cast
Original Australian Cast
Video
You've heard of several kinds of cat,
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand our character.
You've learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you
You've seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names,
Our habits and our habitat:
But
How would you ad-dress a cat?


So first, your memory I'll jog,
And say: A cat is not a dog.

Now dogs pretend they like to fight;
They often bark, more seldom bite;
But yet a dog is, on the
whole,
What you would call a simple soul.

The usual dog about the town
Is much inclined to play the clown
And far from showing too much pride
Is frequently undignified.
He's such an easy-going lout,
He'll answer any hail or shout.


The usual dog about the town
Is inclined to play the clown
Again I must remind you that
A dog's a dog; a cat's a cat

With cats, some say, one rule is true:
Don't speak 'til you are spoken to.
Myself I do not hold with
that -
I say, you should ad-dress a cat
But always bear in mind that he
Resents familiarity.
You bow, and taking off your hat,
Ad-dress him in this form: "O Cat!"

Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream;
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar, or Strassburg pie
Some potted grouse, or salmon paste -
He's sure to have his personal taste.

And so in time you reach your aim,
And call him by his name.


So this is this and that is that:
And there's how you ad-dress a cat.

A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that:
And there's how you ad-dress a cat.
You've heard of several kinds of cat,
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand our character.
You've learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you
You've seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names,
Our habits and our habitat:
But
How would you ad-dress a cat?

So first, your memory I'll jog,
And say: A cat is not a dog.


So first, your memory I'll jog,
And say: A cat is not a dog.


With cats, some say, one rule is true:
Don't speak 'til you are spoken to.
Myself I do not hold with
that -
I say, you should ad-dress a cat
But always bear in mind that he
Resents familiarity.
You bow, and taking off your hat,
Ad-dress him in this form: "O Cat!"

Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted
friend
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream;
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar, or Strassburg
pie
Some potted grouse, or salmon paste -
He's sure to have his personal taste.

And so in time you reach your aim,
And call him by his name.


A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that:
And there's how you ad-dress a cat.

A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that:
And there's how you ad-dress a cat.
You've heard of several kinds of cat,
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand our character.
You've learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you
You've seen us both at work and games
And learned about our proper names,
Our habits and our habitat:
But
How would you ad-dress a cat?

So first, your memory I'll jog,
And say: A cat is not a dog.


So first, your memory I'll jog,
And say: A cat is not a dog.


With cats, some say, one rule is true:
Don't speak 'til you are spoken to.
Myself I do not hold with
that -
I say, you should ad-dress a cat
But always bear in mind that he
Resents familiarity.
You bow, and taking off your hat,
Ad-dress him in this form: "O Cat!"

Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted
friend
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream;
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar, or Strassburg
pie
Some potted grouse, or salmon paste -
He's sure to have his personal taste.

And so in time you reach your aim,
And call him by his name.


A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that:
And there's how you ad-dress a cat.


A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that:
And there's how you ad-dress a cat.
You've heard of several kinds of cat,
And my opinion now is that
You should need no interpreter
To understand our character.
You've learned enough to take the view
That cats are very much like you
You've seen us both at work and games
And learnt about our proper names,
Our habits and our habitat:
But
How would you ad-dress a cat?

So first, your memory I'll jog,
And say: A cat is not a dog.


So first, your memory I'll jog,
And say: A cat is not a dog.


With cats, some say, one rule is true:
Don't speak 'til you are spoken to.
Myself I do not hold with
that -
I say, you should ad-dress a cat
But always keep in mind that he
Resents familiarity.
You bow, and taking off your hat,
Ad-dress him in this form: "O Cat!"

Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted
friend
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream;
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar, or Strassburg
pie
Some potted grouse, or salmon paste -
He's sure to have his personal taste.

And so in time you reach your aim,
And call him by his name.


A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that:
And there's how you ad-dress a cat.


A cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect
So this is this and that is that:
And there's how you ad-dress a cat.
Notes

Nothing of note.